Questions your children may ask you

You may be concerned about how your children or grandchildren will react to your cancer diagnosis. And, while you might wish to protect them from the difficult news, talking openly with them about cancer will provide the clarity and honesty they will need for support.^1,2

Just how much children need to know depends on their age and level of maturity.¹

You will probably find it helpful to anticipate likely questions and to prepare basic information before initiating the conversation.²It is important to adjust the words you use according to the child’s age.³

Young children need reassurance on the following points:

It is not their fault you are ill^3–5
They will not get cancer too^3–6
What cancer is⁶
Whether you are at risk of dying³
You will still have time for them⁶
Someone will take care of them⁴
You still love them⁴

While older children and teenagers may want to know:

What cancer is⁶
Whether you are at risk of dying³
How they can help⁴
That someone will take care of them⁴
Whether they can still spend time with their friends⁴

When you answer their questions:

Use clear and direct language³
Explain what cancer is, where your cancer is in your body, and how treatment will help⁶
Take your time; give the information gradually, not all at once⁷
Admit if you do not know an answer^6,7
Encourage children and teenagers to ask questions and express their feelings⁴
Reassure them that they will continue to be loved and cared for^4,7
Use a doll or teddy bear to explain where your cancer is, if you are talking to young children²
Bring a book about cancer or treatment along if you are telling older children or pre-teens; tell teenagers about available sources of information²

If you are feeling too overwhelmed or depressed to speak with your children, ask for support from a family member or friend, or from a healthcare professional or counsellor.^1,³

Glossary

References